I like you, but I don't like you like you...

The first time I ever hit on a guy I was young, maybe 13 or 14. I don't remember much of the encounter itself,  but I know that I'd met him at a rec center near my house and totally thought he was dreamy. He was into me, and we hit off. From there we dated on and off for about four years. Unfortunately this is where my successful approaches come to an abrupt and unfortunate end.

Every guy I have approached in the ensuing decade, from then until today, has politely declined my advances. I have heard a shit ton of excuses ranging from, "You're just not my type" (I can respect that), and "We should just be friends" (Fuck no.) to "Um, no" (Rude!), and "I don't think I'm your type." (Are fucking retarded! I hit on you, plus I don't even have a "type" you dumb ass.) None of them helped the sting. It never got easier to take, nor did it get easier to put myself out there.

As recently as two weeks ago I was rejected by "I don't think I'm your type", who was a friend I hoped to make into a boyfriend.Obviously that was a disaster. To be quite honest, in this situation I was more offended by the lame ass reason than the actual rejection.

At this point in my emo extravaganza I really should add that I have been hit on, successfully. Not really sure how to word that one. I get hit on, not very often anymore, but it happens. I usually give the person the time of day, unless I find them so ugly it's repellent. This isn't out of some karma bull but instead out of sheer willingness to give anyone a try. I find that even the marginally attractive can be upgraded greatly by a good personality or intelligence.

All of this rejection has made me as bitter as orange rind.  I try not to let the bitterness affect me but there are times. Sometimes I'll be listen to someone complain about their relationship problems or see a couple together in a loving caress and want to throw a brick at them. As of yet I have not, that you know, done so. Some how, I have been able to avoid many of the pitfalls that the chronically rejected oft fall into. I really credit that accomplishment to my mom's constant reassurance of my worth as a child, but that's for another more Freudian post.

I openly recognize the things about me that make me so prone to rejection and because I am being honest I am going to lay them out here for your reading pleasure. My personality, is abrasive and at the same time wholly insecure. My body, I'm fat. My dress, I have never been and never will be a snazzy dresser. I'm shy, and closed off. All of that is topped off with my chronic depression and severe anxiety attacks. I'm a mess, but that's me.

You may read that and think to yourself, "OMG WTF GTG, It's not you it's me. I simply have a allergy to crazy people." Yeah, me too. Let's be clear, I do not lay all my crazy out in the first meeting, are you crazy? Like most of you I try to hide my crazy, but it seems my crazy has grown to be a bit of a Houdini.

At this point in my story the only thing I have left to say is... Hi, my name is Jerome. Would you like to go out some time?

STIs Personal Experience

First off I would just like to say that I had a very hard time finding someone who has a personal experience with STIs. That makes me very happy. Secondly, so far the STI post has gotten the most amount of traffic of and post thus far. It had a surge of over 600% readership, trust me the readership before was modest so we aren't some break out hit but it is up by a lot. This makes me happy also. Not only because people are enjoying the site but also because people are wanting the information and they now have it. So to all the new readers I say welcome to the conversation. To the older readers, welcome back. Enjoy this story it is written by me from notes I took during a interview with a shy contributor. Let's call him Kevin Federline.

She was so friggin hot, dude and we didn't have a condom. We where in the moment and since I was like 16 I wasn't even considering catching something. At that time I was most worried about pregnancy and since it was anal I just said screw it. I knew she was very vocal and open about her sexual experiences, but it never occurred to me that she would have something. Even from looking at her I had no idea what was going to happen. 

I woke up a few days later and went to pee and it burned so bad. I also noticed I had a clear discharge from my penis. At first was I didn't know what was going on and thought it would just go away on its own. After a bit it didn't so I went to my dad and told him what was going on. He took me to the doctor immediately. I'm not going to lie I was "scared, but I made my mistakes and had to take care of them."

My doctor was understanding and answered all of my questions. While the doctor and his resident were nice, the testing sucked. Initially the resident was in the exam room with me, he took a q-tip swap thing and shoved into my urethra, twisted and repeated. He repeated because they would have to do a separate scan for other bacterial things I could have gotten from her anus. When the doctor came in he had repeat the swapping to make sure no medical mistake where made. To say the least, it hurt like hell. The doctor said that I probably had a bacterial infection, I was given an antibiotic and went home to wait on my results.

2 weeks later I got my result confirming that I did have a bacterial STI, namely Chlamydia. I went back to the doctor where he gave me 2 pills of a stronger more specialized antibiotic. I took those pills as I was told and they knocked out the big C. I have been fine ever since and I have been more than a little diligent in making sure to wrap it up every time. My doc suggested I register with the CDC but I opted not to. I did tell the one partner I had between contracting it and getting it handled.

This whole thing could have been very bad, luckily I had a a father that I could talk to and be open and honest with. Let me just add one last thing "In this society we are so concerned with feelings our feelings others feelings. But essentially no matter how awkward, just do what you need to. Go see a medical professional talk to your parent someone that can give you the help you need. Even a simple STI like mine can lead to sterility of left untreated."

 Just so you know, a condom could have helped to prevent Kevin's situation. If you want to the best shot at avoiding this you should use a condom every time with any penetrative sex, including oral. Also make sure to visually inspect your partners genitals. It may seem weird but while you are using your hand you can just take a look and see what's going on down there. If you notice something out of sorts, raise the question. Make a decision with your best judgment.

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