Intimacy.

You should know by now that I love my dictionary, so don't be surprised if I pull Webster's out on you periodically.

According to Google:

Intimacy: noun 1. Familiarity: close or warm friendship; "the absence of fences created a mysterious intimacy in which no one knew privacy" 2. the third studio album by British indie rock band Bloc Party. 

My definition of intimacy is as followed: A delicate mental state of being between two people. That is facilitated by continual comfort, trust, and understanding, which leads to openness, sharing, and robust communications both verbal and non-verbal of their feelings, hopes, dreams, experiences, and fears within a atmosphere of commitment, acceptance and tenderness. Without realizing it we often have very close and very intimate relationships with people. Often we find that intimacy forms without conscious thought.

I am able to tell my best friend anything, with trust and understanding, that what I say is safe. We can, have, and will continue to cry together, laugh together, pass out drunkenly, accommodate one another, be an open willing ear, be and absorbent shoulder, ask "what is this weird bump on my butt", and do it without fear of judgment. It feels good. 

I would say 100% of humans search for intimacy in their relationships, more than sex. Humans have four basic emotional needs: acknowledgment, attention, acceptance, and affection. We often use sex as way of fulfilling these needs. In general those who do have hard sustaining the intimacy. 

There are many barriers to intimacy, but us I would say the biggest are:

• Fear
• Aggressiveness
• Substance Abuse
• Mistrust
• Electronic Devices
• Physical Distance
• Stress
• Sex

All of these things take time away from the relationship that is being built. With misuse they all can cause emotional distance, which eventually will leave the relationship to be based on sex alone alone and that is if each partner's sexual needs are still being met within the relationship.

The question becomes, how do you facilitate the growth and maintenance of intimacy? The best place to start is with honesty and comfort. It's really simple, be honest all the time but lie when necessary. Yes, I said lie when necessary. Lying can be used for the forces of good. If done correctly, you will allow people to trust you more because they can recognize when you are lying. The only things that you should never lie about are your feelings, desires, and needs. Honesty and openness about those needs breeds trust and comfort. 


Now you have intimacy, but understand that since intimacy is a mental and emotional state that is always in flux, it is important to continue these behaviors to maintain the intimacy that you have come to enjoy. When intimacy goes bad it can lead to resentment, hatred, slashed tires, hacked Facebook accounts, and...




Nobody wants that, but let's be honest there are less rhythmically awesome ways to go. if I had to die this would be in the top ten.

For more information on intimacy visit the links below.

Romance Class: Intimacy 



Wikipedia: Intimacy

LIVESTRONG: Intimacy