Today while I was in my favorite sub shop, I met a girl who had a problem. Her problem was that she'd met a complete stranger, me, and was about to spill her dirtiest secret to him. Luckily for her she picked the right stranger. I will spare you from sifting through the emotional vomit she spat onto my shoes but the summary is that she'd cheated on her boyfriend of two years with Some Latin Guy (SLG) from her job. I say "Some Latin Guy" because during this 25min non-stop out pouring of crazy she referred to him as having come from every country south of and including Mexico. I think it was mainly because he can't speak English and she can't speak Spanish but none the less.
What she wanted from me was to help her decide whether to tell her boyfriend or not. I think we all know what I told her... Shut your fucking mouth.
There is literally NO reason why, at this point she needs to tell Boyfriend anything. The way she explained it to me, SLG is keeping his non-English speaking mouth shut, as far as she knows she hasn't caught syphilis or a fetus, and she's set a appointment to get checked for any STIs and pregnancy. She's doing everything she needs to do.
However, if Boyfriend asks, she needs to spill it. If she caught something, she needs to spill it. If she finds out she's knocked up with Some Half Latin Baby by Some Latin Guy, bitch better sing. In every other circumstance she needs to zip her lips with a padlock and stop talkin' all that blah, blah, blah!
Telling Boyfriend will only help her to feel better, and him to feel like shit. If it doesn't murder her already tumultuous relationship it will at the very least send a pair of jet liners through their proverbial twin towers of love.
Now I'm gonna get back to my goddamn sub before someone else decides to share their life with me. :)
Friday, June 4, 2010
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I've got to say, I disagree. I've been cheated on twice, (that I know of, I suppose). The truth is, I respected him that much more for being honest with me the first time, and because I was willing to move past it, we still worked for a while. When I found out from other people that he cheated again some time later, I didn't even want to talk to him, I felt so betrayed. I think that if you allow yourself to believe that weaknesses don't need to be dealt with, but rather hidden and ignored, then you're going against the 'real, open, and honest' spirit of this site.
ReplyDeleteI disagree. I am not talking about a serial cheater here. I am talking about a woman who had one indiscretion and is now raped by guilt. Every situation is different. If she had a relationship with this other guy or felt like she might want to step out again my answer would have been totally different. I think I will do a follow up in a few days to clarify a few points, stay tuned.
ReplyDeleteClara, I also invite you to write a response to this post. I would be glad to feature it. The idea is that this is a conversation. If you have a opposing viewpoint let your voice be heard. Email me ltasexinfo@gmail.com
ReplyDeleteThis type of discussion is what I want to happen. I totally agree with a lot of your points. Actually there is nothing you wrote that I disagree with. The advice I gave her was the same advice I would give to a kid who'd been suspended from school for the first time ever and knows that his parents will ground him for a month because of it. Sometimes there are situations where the second party's reaction will out pace the actually inciting incident. Everyone deserves a get out of jail free card. This is her one. Like I said if it happens again, she needs to spill it. If the kid got suspended again he would need to spill it. I would hope that you have not spent your life reporting yourself for every misstep. People need to go easier on themselves. To human is er, to love is accept your and your partner's(s').
ReplyDeleteSo what you are saying is, it's only wrong if you get caught. Forget that you feel guilty, bottle it up; it'll go away soon...
ReplyDeleteSort of. I explain myself a little bit more in the new post.
ReplyDelete