It Was Just A Titty

As is apt to happen, societies boundaries for obscenity sway back and forth on a spectrum. Right now, in America, we are definitely within an period of conservative moralities. To illustrate, I would like to turn your attention to the event know as Nipplegate.  In 2004, the NFL hired Justin Timberlake and Janet Jackson to perform in their annual Super Bowl Half-Time Show. Long story short, she showed a titty for 1.87 seconds and the universe split in two.  Planes crashed from the sky, viewers eyeballs melted from their sockets, acid rained from the skies, every viewer who saw it was confused, and I moved on.

Apparently my sentiments were not mirrored by the rest of my country. Immediately and continuously, for the next few weeks, I could not turn on the TV without being subjected to Janet Jackson's sun burst clad tit preceded by a "What you are about to see may be very offensive, parents your discretion is advised" warning.  Which was succeeded by a slow motion replay and the sounds of the men of America wanking fervently.  Lotions sales and carpal tunnel injuries skyrocketed!  Both Janet and Justin apologized profusely, as well as MTV, the NFL, and CBS all issuing formal statements on the matter.  CBS was fined $550,000 by the FCC for that 1.87 seconds of pop superstar melon.

Time moved on and the event now dubbed Nipplegate, as all salacious "news" stories do, fell from public concern. During the ensuing six years, the FCC court case against CBS and Janet Jackson has raged on. You read that right, for 1.87 SECONDS of sweater puppet, we have spent SIX YEARS or 189,216,000 SECONDS trying to get what feels like revenge. The ridiculousness of this situation seems to have flown over the heads of the Supreme Court. Just last week our lovely Justices asked that the $550,000 fine be reinstated after it had initially been dismissed for being "arbitrary and capricious."

This whole situation is ludicrous. I understand that, at the time, what occurred was scandalous and who doesn't love scandal. At this point, however, we should just cut our losses. I do not want another dime of my tax money being shoveled into the flames under the guise of decency. Do you know what would be decent? At the risk of sounding like a hippie, what would be decent is if we could all just chill fuck out.  The human body is not indecent. Everyone shares the same parts. In baring her chest, Ms. Jackson did is what numerous men are allowed to do on a daily basis, without fear of reprimand.    

I say all of this to say that, while I respect the ebb and flow of cultural standards, there has to be a standard to which we allow ourselves to be consumed with "protecting" the children from the breast. It's unreasonable to think that a child would not need to be exposed to what equates to the VMA's red carpet.

MTV was not fined for either of these famous ensembles, both of which are more sexually suggestive than Janet's "wardrobe malfunction". Even with the pure grace and elegance Lil' Kim is displaying with these couture choices, I am more offended by her her plastic surgeons complete and utter disregard for symmetry than the fact that she is displaying them.

We do not need regulations for what can be shown on television because that does not and will not work. We do need to erect a better system. One that is standard across all media platforms and serves only to inform consumers of the content held within. We need a better way. It is not going to happen on it's own.  We need to force it. Why should those that only seek to return us to the not so good ol' days be the only ones heard? 

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